It's time to chill out.

Here's an absurd news flash: school nurses are unprepared for a terrorist attack.

Choose your own punchline:
A) What happened to the federal kung-fu training grant they were given?
B) Terrorist attack? I couldn't even get a box of tissues from them when I was in school.
C) The Pentagon is offering training but it's part of Rumsfeld's covert ops, so we don't know what they'll teach.
D) Shh! Don't let the terrorists know our weakness!
E) Yeah, we can't monitor everything that comes through our ports, either. But you don't see anyone freaking out about that, do you?